Blog and me

I couldn't blog as much as I wanted to. 2014 has been hectic in many aspects, and that's no excuse for not writing, I know :). How did I spend my leisure time then? Well, I completed a certification, steered the library committee within my organization, and initiated and conducted an All-India quiz competition. I've received a few notes about my blogging status and to all those, thanks for remembering me and I will write as often as I can. 

Two powerful words

Giving away treasures

A question popped my over-crowded mind: What do we give? When I retrospect, I see us giving away things we needed the least. The change we’re trying to bring by ‘giving’ is counter-productive except a very few times. By giving the things needed the least, we are confirming the societal biases and differences (remember us creating it in the past?). Inside we want to eradicate that, but our actions aren't saying so. Actually, we should be giving (rather I would say sharing) what we love the most, what we need the most.

Giving is to receive; the more you give, the more you get. Hah, we all know that! Yet, we stuff ourselves with many things that we treasure and use them rarely. The art of living more with less is what I want to talk and learn more about, not the life less with more. I've been fortunate to be part of a few groups who do unnoticed giving; they give in dark when no one sees them. They give all that they have; they share. We need to replace the attitude of giving with attitude of sharing.

Give away things you needed the most once, give away things you need the most now; give away smiles, give away love, give away happiness, give away your 100% in everything you do, give away all times not only during the needy times. Give away things every now and then and it will show you that you really didn't needed many of the things you were tempted to buy. (A different POV: Replace all “give away” words with “share”).

What are the things you can live without? Give them away! I will…until the moment I close my eyes!!

Bala's Paradesi - Movie Review

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradesi_(2013_film)

I’m glad I made it to the first day of the movie “Bala’s Paradesi”. Set in pre-independence India about tea plantation workers, their innocence to fight famine, and their life after accepting the British’s offer to work in the tea estates. The story is the hero and the cast have carried it well by living their characters. They are unique, yet real and definitely make lasting impression. What I specifically like about the movie is the beginning and the end – the way they have been shot. At the start, you will experience the bubbly feel of the village, the joy spread by everyone and everything in the locality and contrastingly in the climax, your soul will shed tears. The music was able to bring in the right emotions and the blend is good too. I cannot tell if the music suits the 1930s but it definitely is in sync with the story scenes. The art direction serve as a backbone, the entire movie has got the parched tone bringing you a scorched feel. The other items such as costumes, make-up, and sets, help in bringing a slice of time period in history.

I love the fact that Bala hasn’t taken any artificial sprinkles. He hasn’t mixed the story with melodrama, clap worthy dialogues, romance, good vs. evil, uprising with hope, revenges, or anything that may do good in the box office. This is his landmark, I believe. The movie also brings in a subtle message on the business in sacred threads, the advent of globalization, the strategy in spreading Christianity, and not-to-forget the westernized lifestyle system.

Paradesi will make us think twice before our first sip of the next tea. :)
Let the world cinema taste another remarkable story.

Safety, Rights, Empowerment

I’m sure most of us celebrated March 8 - International Women’s Day. Few of my friends refused to accept the wishes quoting the worsening state of womanhood. Coincidently, a lot of recent talks over wire were on Women’s safety. Women rights is another aspect prevailing since a few years. Deep dive, it’s about empowerment IMHO. I'm going to take only one item for this post. Let me stick to the sad truth of money being an authority (at least in the empowerment context). It is equally sad to realize that most women who earn now-a-days aren’t empowered enough to manage their earnings, savings, or investments or some don’t even have a say. I’m trying to look for an answer for this stand. I think it goes back to the upbringing and the societal constitution. In most of our families, men manage the finances. In other words, Men are earners and women are spenders. There is no overt discrimination I believe; but there lies a serious problem. The so-called uber-modern societal setup has also been a reason for this problem. Look at most of the advertisements – women are portrayed as spenders buying something every possible way sometimes even without an absolute need - thanks to the eCOMMERCE (eShopping) fever – they do it just with a click. While most men are presented to be decision makers taking some investment decisions and securing their families, some men are shown spending money buying something for their wives. There are certain advertisements which present women as wise, smart, and sensible – but those are more likely to be for nutrition or FMCG products. I will stay away from the cosmetic world. The movies aren't a spare. How many  can you list that bring women in the true form? But I wonder when the world will change this perspective toward women (may that be sooner, please!) If the social media has such beliefs and keeps expressing that, then the empowerment I wish for is in question. I wish there could be a council to grant approval for such ads – but let me not ask for stars.

I also know of quite a few women who take a step back when it comes to investment or money management. Ma’ams in finance, please excuse :) Money, if believed to be the power, doesn’t stay so if only earned but managed as well. There’re so many ways to learn new things in this connected world, we know what to do but we just don’t do it. Let us begin with that change. I also must say that there is an ample opportunity for every men to realize their part in the CHANGE.

Time to wake up to the truth and stop supporting the false and bloated societal traps. 

Pregnancy as a Service - Baby as a Product

Yes, I want to talk about Surrogacy! (Surrogacy is a method in which a women will carry a child to term and hand the baby over to the commissioning parents a few moments after birth.) Shocking? Surprising? Or interesting? Read on!! Science has advanced!!!

Surrogacy challenges my fundamental understanding of Motherhood and brings in a question of what I always thought as an unbreakable bond between mother and child. While many condemn this, some compares it with women who rent their bodies (prostitution – the world’s oldest profession) or the organ transplant (after people die). I am not going to talk about those who have their babies by surrogate to avoid stretch marks or lose the waxes in their body parts! But I will try and talk about those mothers who rent their wombs - they need money and the couples who commission it - they have money and infertile. This practice is seen in many major countries with the deal done domestically and/or internationally (outsource for a cheaper cost). Money is THE constant need for many in the world, isn't it? Few governments have legalized this practice with clinics and medicos specialized in this, they also do baby-brokering. Interesting to know that homosexuals too are customers of this trade, of course partnered with a sperm/egg donors.

Very little is understood about the world of surrogates. I've read about their stories and it seems to me that they like to be involved, though it is primarily for money, but they also enjoy the feel of their bellies with a baby inside and the high of all those rushing hormones. Defying stereotyping, hah? The hardest part of this job could be the loneliness that come after the deal is done. The mothers come home without the baby they were carrying and there’s no one to ask, no calls, nothing. The performance is over, nobody cares, they’re done. They’re out!! All they have is the surrogacy money and the livid C-section mark.

Is it all about activism against infertility-as-a-curse or the demand for money in everything in day-to-day lives? People explore different options to get out of the prisoning the society has put on them. Who is to be condemned?

Wet Nurse, Babysitting, Surrogacy, then what?

If these walls could talk...

Lonely, around the corner

Wishing someone could knock and take me out

Never ending silence of the living room

Untold sorrows and stories

Memories unfold…
they would give you pages and pages to read…

Only if these walls could talk!

Stamp

Did you ever try?

No one has ever measured, 

not even poets, 

how much the heart can hold.

- Zelda Fitzgerald (1900 - 1948)

you made me think

see yourself!

i trUst

Feel the silence...

The second best thing

FaceABook

Let me live

Just with hope!

livelife

Prediction

love all

Every relationship is important...

Whenever I sit down for a conversation with my married friends, they try (really try!) telling me the complications of a married life. I agree to some of their points, yes they’re valid.. I do believe in a fact. “Every relationship is important.” When it comes down to partner (wife, in my case), this is more important and becomes a very vital aspect of our lives. I AGREE. Now coming to the topic—Marriage. Does it really change us? Don’t you all agree that we have relationships with various people from childhood? Do those relations change you? No. The reason is we being ourselves with fewer expectations and less influences. We never force ‘anyone’ to act like as we do or think; ‘anyone’ includes our parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, teachers, fellow students, fellow colleagues, etc. Then why in the hell we try changing our partners? Why can’t we accept the way they’re? They are grown-ups; they know their morality (at least to some extent); don’t you feel bad when someone tries to change you, or the way you think, or the way you do things, or the way you see life? I’m sure you will. Then, why wouldn’t they? However, I agree that not all of us are matured enough to ‘think’ and ‘act’ right; but I also put up a fact that no one will change just because it is told. They may, but it doesn’t last longer. The point is they have to realize it themselves (may be repeated telling; but definitely not forcing) or they have to decide themselves to let the attitude go. Only then, they will adopt it for their life. After all life is full of learning, isn’t it? With good relationships, we do take a little closer step to guide them whenever things aren’t right or get guided when we are down; this usually happens on a mutual trust and care. If you call our partners really a ‘partner’, then where did the mutual trust and care go? Shouldn’t it be more? 

When you really care, you listen. When you really listen, you understand. When you really understand, you think. When you really think, you act right. So everything goes well. So care your partner the way you did for all your relationships, much more than that. Also remember that this ‘partner’ is special, sharing all the ups and downs of our life. And also ensure that you don’t ruin theirs. Give them the respect for what they are and what they have got for you. Care, listen, understand, think, and then act. Don’t jump on please. If you follow this simple rule for your own life, you will never be in trouble. 

Show It Now!

just a thought passed by...

Over And Over

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